just napkins II

1)
drop back suddenly
your sons have a rivalry
no one that you know
thinks the world is at hand
futures make
what futures make
when we take the world into a change
i am not the wilderness
you are not the earth

____

try and be forgiving
i am suddenly
wrought with odd conclusions
from people wrought with misery

2)
take it as it comes
pretend
that this is all pretend
and then
when summer takes your idle hand
you’re suddenly all gone
i am but a whisper’s son
i am not
i am some
i am one of many thoughts
i am thinking
maybe not
times are there
oh, times, they’re not
days are weeks and
weeks are months

3)
dogs are barking
cats meow
i am wanting
all i’ve found
to be something i can make
i will make you
day by day
deception dusts the darkness down
and dwindles distances renouned

____

my absence takes its walking, worn…
my able-bodies want all torn
i am you
you are
you aren’t

4)
wash me, i am
literally disgusting
i smell like earth and sand and clay
but some may put it a different way
like i would say i’’m covered in yuck
you would say i just want to fuck
i am telling you, you are
only nothing
not what’s found

5)
little do you know, i am
and always have been
fucking exhausted
i need a room
i need a bed
i need to bathe
it clears my head
a dentist wouldn’t be the same
if he were hunting down my shame

6)
calm yourselves
your numbers’ not
even mine is less than one
even i am not what you
think that you are broken too
we are all a lasting taste
we are all a finished race
so let’s practice what we preach
and learn our children as we teach

7)
this is unbelievable
this is something i can’t stand for
and yet it’s something that’s at stake
rules are regulations made
this is all
yet, this is not
try to be a troubled thought
try to be a wince at a cold stare
try to make it all unclear
i am hopeful
i am lame
i am lucky
i’m to blame
i have nothing
maybe her
but i haven’t seen her
seems like ever

____

yes, it seems i’m almost there
my eyes are wider
vision clear
take me like i’m almost always
you are you, you know
now you can

____

trust
love
grow
fade
perish

8)
ask me a question
i’ll make up a line
kill you with kindness
or read you all blind
remember how sometimes
you’re not who you are
this time i’m tired
and hoping i’m done

____

i am a picture
you are the plain
i am a concept
you are the pain
you make me smile
and what have we done
trading our failings
and trying
we won

9)
time
place
willingness
shade
warmth
coffee
tea
love
now exhaustion
now unplugged
leaving now
yes and no
even though and
even so
trump
chumps

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